Ok, its Self-reflection time and ima tell on myself for a few ticks and speak on somethings that i see about myself. For me this is therapeutic and drops weight off my shoulders.
Alright here goes. i have noticed that i am terrified of being involved in another relationship b/c of the fact no one is ever comfortable with being themselves and so fronts are put up. when i think of the "title" relationship, i associate it with something negative and bad, but what i try and do now is actually get to know a person FIRST without the pursuit of a relationship in mind. which i feel should level the playing field b/c there are no REAL pressures as far as trying to impress someone b/c being ur self should be an impression enough.
I enjoy being single at the moment b/c I've never really had a point in my life to be single. I've always been in relationships, being pleasing to the person I'm in a relationship with, to the point where i lost who i was. which for whatever reason not too many can understand or better yet they don't want to. so a person trying to get something outta me that I'm not willing to give is gonna be a no win situation. and for someone to even try that makes me aware that that person is selfish and not thinking of the things that I'm currently look towards which would be me getting over certain things in life and making my self better.
I have also noticed that thru the traumatic relationships that i have been in I've noticed that i have been bitter, like the same females that get on for not getting over certain things in their lives. i don't think i am as bitter as i was but i was and can admit that, at least i can call it and identify with it and have corrected that non-sense.
I am a loner, b/c i feel NO ONE will ever understand me even if i try to explain. and am also a loner b/c friends have always seemed to be very disappointing. It also keeps me from following the crowd which at times can be very messy the crowd that is. being a loner also has helped me hone my skills as being very observant and intuitive of others
that is all for now, cant give away too much info, but at least I CAN do it. #imjustsaying
Sunday, March 21, 2010
The Bad Guy
what is the real issue when i man says that he's just got out of a relationship and that he's not mentally or emotionally ready to go down that road, that the woman takes it upon her self to be the one to mend his heart, even tho he's not looking to get it mended. but when the time and attention isnt given the same the guy is the "dog" or "aint shit" or whatever else some women call men.
sometimes when a guy has gotten out of a long and draining relationship, epecially if it was emotinally draining you coming on strong and fast and being needy only pushes the guy away and limits any other time that you may have wanted or were seeking. what makes matters worse is that you make that same guy feel and look like he is the culprit and bad guy. when it actuality the culprit would be or may be you b/c you havent respected his wishes and your putting your self on him. yea he may see that your a good women in all that but all that wont change his mind b/c of what he has gone thru, and if it does then he's only doing what some women do which is substituting his hurt with ur time and attention which is never good. it becomes a respect thing and issue.
how can you get mad at a guy that you've never established a relationship with?? yes your friends, yes you spend time with other, and may even be intimate. but yet in still you have no right to get angry at a person that has laid down a foundation with you in the beginning. you can NOT force someone to be what they are not willing to be
is what that guy saying falling on deaf ears, and all the woman knows is that he's available and she see's he has potential
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Memphis
Ok, Now i love my city to death, but there are things that i have to draw question too that i dont understand. Honestly it seems as if my city doesnt like to generate money. i cant grasp it. Here's what i mean.
Ok, we've had the Pyramid(soon to be like the Coliseum), Mid-South Coliseum(tumbleweeds, eye sore), Libertyland, Adventure River, Celebration Station(eye sore), Al's Golfhaven, and the Mall of Memphis(demolished) all to only shut down and close. This is getting ridiculous!!!!!!!! our kids have no real place to play or hang out, we're a basketball city but dont see any basketball courts in the parks, no theme parks, or water parks, but we're shocked that kids committing crimes and obese. ReallY???? ............an idle mind is the devil's playground
The way they have things setup kids are doomed...when I was coming up..we had Liberty land(eye sore), Mud Island(no promotion)...Adventure River(furniture place now)....Club X???(exactly).....................Hell i even had the neighborhood Community Centers to go to and had fun. WTH is going on?!?!?!? We have nothing to do but be goons and commit crimes...sad. hell you wouldnt have to worry to much about the MPD if you gave kids something to do, even if education was what its suppose to be and kids were in their books, hell they'd STILL need SOMETHING to do for fun to reward themselves, to socialize. if YOU'RE bored your mind wonders, im just saying
the city turned down the idea to turn the Pyramid and the area around it into a theme park, to wait on Bass Pro shop who signed and intent to move in 4YEARS AGO!!! and yet its 20 dayum 10 and still its unoccupied!!!!!!!!!!!! Memphis doesnt like making money APPARENTLY. I think the city needs fresh eyes, someone who isnt afraid of new and fresh ideas, someone thats NOT from Memphis. The reason why i say that is because maybe he/she wont have the Memphis mentality.................which is that Memphis is a bandwagon city, whoever or whatever is hot at the moment Memphis is on it.
A city of Cowboy and Steeler fans, Laker, Cleveland and Celtic fans, altho we have teams that we can support and claim our own(Titans, Grizzles). People come to Memphis and take our ideas and take it back to their cities and its booming and now their famous, (ie. gangsta walking, crunk music except we called it buck or getting buck) We have ppl that have to leave the city 1st in order to become famous, look at Jazzy Pha. People heard his name but he didnt become "famous" until he LEFT Memphis, i can go on and on and name people and things but you should get my drift.
We need to quit just walking around watching NOTHING happen, as if there is nothing going. and what's going on is that Memphis is becoming stagnant while other cities pass us by. if that is cool with you then you have that Memphis mentality that i am referring too, and your probably at a job for 15 years working the same position w/o trying for advancement. not saying there is anything wrong with that cause that is stability but my point is AT LEAST gun for the advancement dont just be comfortable.................and that is what our city is COMFORTABLE and we arent in a position to be comfortable. There are too many negative things going on for the city to just be comfortable and not going thru extreme measure to change it. And it actually starts by the people in the city voicing themselves, cause if the city DONT speak then the officials dont think there is a issue or problem going on, EXCEPT for crime that they cant overlook.
that is all
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Dayum girl ur moving to fast
I would like to address the issue with woman wanting just JUMP into a relationship and not knowing if she even gonna like the dude or not. do you even know him, know him?? i understand you like the idea of dude and ya'll vibing in all but do you have to jump head 1st?? if a dude is TRYING to take it slow, and he lays the foundation and states that he'd like to get to know you and go with the flow of things, then do that. Dont try to WOW dude and be this kinda woman you think he looking for, like thats gone speed things up and change his mind. Because its not gonna end well. Why would you want a dude that you can manipulate like that anyways?? cause if he changes his mind that easy and dont stand for what he says then ur setting ur self up for failure later also.
Whats funny is these same women WANT to cook for dude and invite him over and sex him, guess what that is something you WANTED to do for him, but you try to blame the dude saying he mislead you, did he really??? or did he just accept what YOU gave him in the midst of taking it slow?? you try and change a dudes mind and when it doesnt work you lash out and now HE'S to blame, blame ur self cause YOU did it. its easier to blame the next person instead of looking in the mirror.
Most women have yet to master the are of truly "dating". I know chicks that meet one guy and won't go out with any other guy once they meet that guy and they KNOW he is actively and openly dating others...but they consistently give him their best hoping that when HE decideds to settle down it will be with HER...then she gets impatient and starts to pressure him into an unwanted relationship...the sad part is that all this I described usually occurs within about 30days! That's LUDICROUS!
The issue is that women are so busy trying to find Mr. Right that you are afraid not to put it all out there immediately, 100% because you want him to want you...so that's what you do...you "hear" what he says about what he's looking for, but you don't "listen" you are plotting and scheming to make him yours from the first contact! The funny thing is you may not even want him...you want the "IDEA" of him...the lie you have told yourselves about who he is...that's what you are rushing to settle down with...because you don't know enough about him to want to "settle down"... you know nothing
that is all
Whats funny is these same women WANT to cook for dude and invite him over and sex him, guess what that is something you WANTED to do for him, but you try to blame the dude saying he mislead you, did he really??? or did he just accept what YOU gave him in the midst of taking it slow?? you try and change a dudes mind and when it doesnt work you lash out and now HE'S to blame, blame ur self cause YOU did it. its easier to blame the next person instead of looking in the mirror.
Most women have yet to master the are of truly "dating". I know chicks that meet one guy and won't go out with any other guy once they meet that guy and they KNOW he is actively and openly dating others...but they consistently give him their best hoping that when HE decideds to settle down it will be with HER...then she gets impatient and starts to pressure him into an unwanted relationship...the sad part is that all this I described usually occurs within about 30days! That's LUDICROUS!
The issue is that women are so busy trying to find Mr. Right that you are afraid not to put it all out there immediately, 100% because you want him to want you...so that's what you do...you "hear" what he says about what he's looking for, but you don't "listen" you are plotting and scheming to make him yours from the first contact! The funny thing is you may not even want him...you want the "IDEA" of him...the lie you have told yourselves about who he is...that's what you are rushing to settle down with...because you don't know enough about him to want to "settle down"... you know nothing
that is all
Whores with Substance
I had a convo with a lady a couple days ago about what she wont do with her dude and it was a very long list and some stipulations. SMDH. Ima tell you something and ladies you can either listen or not but its like this, men like whores or a "whore type" (per the reason men cheat with what you say a hoe). you have to be willing to do those kinda things that your guy is wanting to experiece with you. which alotta women view a "whore" as a women that sleeps around with alotta guys, that is not our mentality tho. we want a women that does these things without us having to go outside the home. the only time a man will call a woman a whore is when she has cheated on us. but not if ur being a "whore" for us.
Whats funny is that you can do these SAME freaky things with a random guy. why?? because there's no emotions involved and you dont care what he thinks right?? BINGO!!!! alotta women dont do freaky shit or whore type shit with their men b/c ur afraid of what he might think of you, so you hold back or whatever, at THAT moment of the act we're(guys) not thinking anything, we're enjoying the act as should you. but we are not thinking of you negatively either after the fact either. if the guy is then your messing with a little boy and not a MAN. Quit being over analytical and enjoy ur self, if you enjoy giving head do it, suck it already and quit thinking about it. maybe thas why also you cant have an orgasm cause yo ass thinking to damn much. do you be thinking when ur playing with your self?? im sure you dont, ur enjoying the act. my point exactly. whats also funny is in the middle of the act your judging ur self MEN dont judge so why you putting so much pressure on it. Men like "whores with substance", someone who can blow their mind in the bed and also mentality (i.e. open minded and enlightening conversations, got something going for her self, and SUPPORTIVE) once you learn that your on ur way.
i only stated that b/c these wifey type women out here arent willing to do certain things, better yet i have even heard them suggest and say "i aint finnaa do that, you betta find some other chick that will!!" Really?!?! you shut ur own door on ur relationship that your man is really wanting to experience and share with you. and then you tell him to share "THAT" with someone else. smdh. sometimes its ur your own dismise in what you experience or get in a relationship. you get what you give and some of you dont really give alot. cause you cant just enjoy yourself and whats going on around you. if ur closed then that is what kinda relationship you will have CLOSED!!!!
if you wanna know about a guy listen to one!!!!! quit asking ur g/f"s or you'll stay confused
that is all
Whats funny is that you can do these SAME freaky things with a random guy. why?? because there's no emotions involved and you dont care what he thinks right?? BINGO!!!! alotta women dont do freaky shit or whore type shit with their men b/c ur afraid of what he might think of you, so you hold back or whatever, at THAT moment of the act we're(guys) not thinking anything, we're enjoying the act as should you. but we are not thinking of you negatively either after the fact either. if the guy is then your messing with a little boy and not a MAN. Quit being over analytical and enjoy ur self, if you enjoy giving head do it, suck it already and quit thinking about it. maybe thas why also you cant have an orgasm cause yo ass thinking to damn much. do you be thinking when ur playing with your self?? im sure you dont, ur enjoying the act. my point exactly. whats also funny is in the middle of the act your judging ur self MEN dont judge so why you putting so much pressure on it. Men like "whores with substance", someone who can blow their mind in the bed and also mentality (i.e. open minded and enlightening conversations, got something going for her self, and SUPPORTIVE) once you learn that your on ur way.
i only stated that b/c these wifey type women out here arent willing to do certain things, better yet i have even heard them suggest and say "i aint finnaa do that, you betta find some other chick that will!!" Really?!?! you shut ur own door on ur relationship that your man is really wanting to experience and share with you. and then you tell him to share "THAT" with someone else. smdh. sometimes its ur your own dismise in what you experience or get in a relationship. you get what you give and some of you dont really give alot. cause you cant just enjoy yourself and whats going on around you. if ur closed then that is what kinda relationship you will have CLOSED!!!!
if you wanna know about a guy listen to one!!!!! quit asking ur g/f"s or you'll stay confused
that is all
Monday, March 8, 2010
Starting Anew
So many of us struggle with relationships and other events in life because we use so much energy to focus on the past. Women are afraid to love and men are afraid of being in love! Women are so focused on the hurt of their past until they pass the future love of their life. Letting go is a hard process that everyone experiences. We would like to believe that everyone is the same and that everyone is out to hurt us. I truly don’t believe that is the situation but it is still hard to put it to pass. We just have this natural guard up to protect our feelings and emotions at all cost. So when this one good person comes into your life you push and push and you find reasons to distance yourself away from the one that is trying to give you everything you desire. Yeah, we all get burned and some more than twice, sometimes four or five times but everything is for a reason. It is to build you up and make you stronger and the stronger you are the more control you have over your life situations. People come into our lives for seasons. Once they complete their season they have to move on. Keeping them longer than their season causes conflict and heartache. You have to learn the lessons and move on so you can make the next class. If you are late for the next class or don’t show up you cause a ripple effect in life. Now you see yourself trying to catch up with life trying to find out where you belong and who belongs to you. If you don’t see any more growth or happiness stop trying to tape that shit together when it is broken up in hundreds of pieces.
There is a thing called love out here you have to get yours. Accept it! Respect it! Love It! Open up and let the past do just what it does, pass.
Men, we have to make sure we have let the past go and cut all ties and sail off into the sunset with it. We carry some serious bullshit with us: old ass girlfriends still calling playing fucking mental games, old fuck buddies, hanging at the same old places, etc. We have to let that Middle School hurt and pain go, your ass is grown now. All females are not all about money and what they can get(but it sure is alot of them out there). Stop using excuses for not loving the woman in your life. You know like, "I can’t because I have been hurt and protecting my feelings, I’m to afraid to, I am lost". If you are lost, let you woman help guide you to the light. Learn to communicate with your woman, if you don’t know how learn how. If you have children, teach them. We need to stay together and stay strong out here; this is real. The divorce courts and lawyers make a lot of money from us because we don’t know how to communicate or get some counseling. Once you have one bad issue in the relationship, we run and snitch to the lawyers like they give a Fuck about you and your life. THEY WANT MONEY!!
Learn to love and take risks in life. Yeah, love can hurt but it can also be wonderful. Find someone that is for you and not against you; please understand we all make mistakes and shit happens.
There is a thing called love out here you have to get yours. Accept it! Respect it! Love It! Open up and let the past do just what it does, pass.
Men, we have to make sure we have let the past go and cut all ties and sail off into the sunset with it. We carry some serious bullshit with us: old ass girlfriends still calling playing fucking mental games, old fuck buddies, hanging at the same old places, etc. We have to let that Middle School hurt and pain go, your ass is grown now. All females are not all about money and what they can get(but it sure is alot of them out there). Stop using excuses for not loving the woman in your life. You know like, "I can’t because I have been hurt and protecting my feelings, I’m to afraid to, I am lost". If you are lost, let you woman help guide you to the light. Learn to communicate with your woman, if you don’t know how learn how. If you have children, teach them. We need to stay together and stay strong out here; this is real. The divorce courts and lawyers make a lot of money from us because we don’t know how to communicate or get some counseling. Once you have one bad issue in the relationship, we run and snitch to the lawyers like they give a Fuck about you and your life. THEY WANT MONEY!!
Learn to love and take risks in life. Yeah, love can hurt but it can also be wonderful. Find someone that is for you and not against you; please understand we all make mistakes and shit happens.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Is this the End?!?!
This is a old blog comment that i posted to a blog that my kinfolk Davine Prodigy a.k.a @iRockDP on twitter posted "Spritual Prisoner" that i feel we all need to think about.
We're prisoners of this world and instructed on how to set our selves free. but the psycho babble that we are brainwashed with in this world makes it hard to embrace what we need to do and walk that narrow path. we all are free, its like being stuck in a jar without the lid, you see what you must do to see the bigger picture, but we are reluctant because its not the popular thing or the masses are not doing it. its not hard because ur not the only one doing it and you wont be by ur self. The path is just not walked by many. It is said in the bible that the time of the end will be when the nation is lead by an image of what we've never seen before.............................it will be lead by either a Black man(muslim) or a woman........................................think on that. Be a witness ;)
We're prisoners of this world and instructed on how to set our selves free. but the psycho babble that we are brainwashed with in this world makes it hard to embrace what we need to do and walk that narrow path. we all are free, its like being stuck in a jar without the lid, you see what you must do to see the bigger picture, but we are reluctant because its not the popular thing or the masses are not doing it. its not hard because ur not the only one doing it and you wont be by ur self. The path is just not walked by many. It is said in the bible that the time of the end will be when the nation is lead by an image of what we've never seen before.............................it will be lead by either a Black man(muslim) or a woman........................................think on that. Be a witness ;)
Loves me Loves me Not
I have a couple of things on my mind so I'm going to tie them in both together on this one.
Why is it there are terms for men, like Prince Charming and Knight in Shining Armour for a woman to look forward to and get swept off her feet. But what is there for men to look forward to. Men dont have anything that we can compare women to and see what we may be missing. Women have romance novels, movies.........and lord forbid LIFETIME!!! See those romantic novels and movies and etc leave a misinterpretation at times as to how a MAN should sweep you off your feet and if he doesnt do it like you have seen in the movies or read in a novel then he doesnt care about you or care for you. Just like commercials and holidays tell you that if he dont give you diamonds or some extravgant gift on Valentines Day then it doesnt say I LOVE YOU or he doesnt love like he says he do. As if love has a price, but love doesnt care about those things.
Women now a days, when you hear them talk "i need to find a man with money", nothing about someone that cares for her or respects her or will love her. Women also arent too supportive of there man, they second guess them, they are defiant, lack of respect and very selfish now. And then with the qualities that i just named get mad because she cant find a good man or her Prince charming!!! What happened to the women that catered to their man, supported his decison making with voicing suggestions, and him being the head of the household?? Now its "I wish I would run "that nigga" a bath"(after a long days work), "that nigga need to be running a bath for me", or "i make more money than him he aint the head of shit", and "i wish i would listen to that decision that nigga dumb as hell".
But whats funny to me is you'll do it with a dude that treats you like shit or you run in behind a dude that dont consider you an option, and you almost break your back to hold on to the relationship. But the guy that is there and try to have something with you and is nice to you and is a man for you, you dont want that dude, you still try and run in behind the guy that dont give you the time of day except when he wants some head or ass, and then you give it to him thinking that ya'll getting back together.
I think we all need to men and women, the wrong that has been done to us leave it in the past and move forward, that new person shouldnt have to be responsible for someone elses mistakes before him/her and if you cant leave it be then you shouldnt be trying to get in a relationship with someone new, state what you want in the beginning. If you want just sex, state that, dont have a dude thinking that you want something more and you dont, and vise versa. and women if you meet a guy and he tells you that he is just dating or not looking for a relationship @ the moment dont think that your pussy has some kind of mind altering ability and you can chnage his mind because in the end you gone be left looking stupid and you gone hear these words that I know you have................."I told you I wasnt looking for a relationship @ the moment so why you acting brand new".
Books and movies are fiction just like you tell you kids "its only a movie", this is real life here. Dont have a movie or book tell you what you like or shouldnt like, all men/women arent going to be the same so dont try and make them be like the last good guy that you were with, because in the end it'll be a waste of time.
Why is it there are terms for men, like Prince Charming and Knight in Shining Armour for a woman to look forward to and get swept off her feet. But what is there for men to look forward to. Men dont have anything that we can compare women to and see what we may be missing. Women have romance novels, movies.........and lord forbid LIFETIME!!! See those romantic novels and movies and etc leave a misinterpretation at times as to how a MAN should sweep you off your feet and if he doesnt do it like you have seen in the movies or read in a novel then he doesnt care about you or care for you. Just like commercials and holidays tell you that if he dont give you diamonds or some extravgant gift on Valentines Day then it doesnt say I LOVE YOU or he doesnt love like he says he do. As if love has a price, but love doesnt care about those things.
Women now a days, when you hear them talk "i need to find a man with money", nothing about someone that cares for her or respects her or will love her. Women also arent too supportive of there man, they second guess them, they are defiant, lack of respect and very selfish now. And then with the qualities that i just named get mad because she cant find a good man or her Prince charming!!! What happened to the women that catered to their man, supported his decison making with voicing suggestions, and him being the head of the household?? Now its "I wish I would run "that nigga" a bath"(after a long days work), "that nigga need to be running a bath for me", or "i make more money than him he aint the head of shit", and "i wish i would listen to that decision that nigga dumb as hell".
But whats funny to me is you'll do it with a dude that treats you like shit or you run in behind a dude that dont consider you an option, and you almost break your back to hold on to the relationship. But the guy that is there and try to have something with you and is nice to you and is a man for you, you dont want that dude, you still try and run in behind the guy that dont give you the time of day except when he wants some head or ass, and then you give it to him thinking that ya'll getting back together.
I think we all need to men and women, the wrong that has been done to us leave it in the past and move forward, that new person shouldnt have to be responsible for someone elses mistakes before him/her and if you cant leave it be then you shouldnt be trying to get in a relationship with someone new, state what you want in the beginning. If you want just sex, state that, dont have a dude thinking that you want something more and you dont, and vise versa. and women if you meet a guy and he tells you that he is just dating or not looking for a relationship @ the moment dont think that your pussy has some kind of mind altering ability and you can chnage his mind because in the end you gone be left looking stupid and you gone hear these words that I know you have................."I told you I wasnt looking for a relationship @ the moment so why you acting brand new".
Books and movies are fiction just like you tell you kids "its only a movie", this is real life here. Dont have a movie or book tell you what you like or shouldnt like, all men/women arent going to be the same so dont try and make them be like the last good guy that you were with, because in the end it'll be a waste of time.
Get Money
Why is it that when you ask people about money or let you in on how they making money or whatever, they act as if they the only ones making money and its some Classified G-14 shit.
Ima put it like this folk somebody came to you about and idea, or let you in on a secret or hell; you fucking asked'em how, but ima tell you we as black people(and white) act so stupid or dumb when it comes to money, like i said ...........you the only ones making it. when i was or be doing my thing, hell i let you know what im doing, and see if you wanna be involved, ya dig. Its not like someone asking you for money and thats how some of you be acting as if someone has come to you and said can i have $500, have we come to the day and age where we dont share ideas or are people so afraid that the next person is or may do it better than you or make more money than what you are doing?? Who gives a shit!!!! Thats why you have networking, if that person did something better and made a better turn guess who they gone share that info with??? the person that got them on in the 1st place.
I have always had the mentality ima share the wealth and ima tell you how you to can get on or can make that money, what point do i have in keeping you broke, or in the gutter................ none whatsoever. So get ya money people, get ya weight up.............and if somebody wanna grind like you or get money like you or that have that same hustle as you, shit why not give that helping hand, cause i know if i see ya getting money ima ask ya...........im the new age Cookie Monster............................MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY
Ya DIG!!!!!
Ima put it like this folk somebody came to you about and idea, or let you in on a secret or hell; you fucking asked'em how, but ima tell you we as black people(and white) act so stupid or dumb when it comes to money, like i said ...........you the only ones making it. when i was or be doing my thing, hell i let you know what im doing, and see if you wanna be involved, ya dig. Its not like someone asking you for money and thats how some of you be acting as if someone has come to you and said can i have $500, have we come to the day and age where we dont share ideas or are people so afraid that the next person is or may do it better than you or make more money than what you are doing?? Who gives a shit!!!! Thats why you have networking, if that person did something better and made a better turn guess who they gone share that info with??? the person that got them on in the 1st place.
I have always had the mentality ima share the wealth and ima tell you how you to can get on or can make that money, what point do i have in keeping you broke, or in the gutter................ none whatsoever. So get ya money people, get ya weight up.............and if somebody wanna grind like you or get money like you or that have that same hustle as you, shit why not give that helping hand, cause i know if i see ya getting money ima ask ya...........im the new age Cookie Monster............................MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY
Ya DIG!!!!!
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