Ok, its Self-reflection time and ima tell on myself for a few ticks and speak on somethings that i see about myself. For me this is therapeutic and drops weight off my shoulders.
Alright here goes. i have noticed that i am terrified of being involved in another relationship b/c of the fact no one is ever comfortable with being themselves and so fronts are put up. when i think of the "title" relationship, i associate it with something negative and bad, but what i try and do now is actually get to know a person FIRST without the pursuit of a relationship in mind. which i feel should level the playing field b/c there are no REAL pressures as far as trying to impress someone b/c being ur self should be an impression enough.
I enjoy being single at the moment b/c I've never really had a point in my life to be single. I've always been in relationships, being pleasing to the person I'm in a relationship with, to the point where i lost who i was. which for whatever reason not too many can understand or better yet they don't want to. so a person trying to get something outta me that I'm not willing to give is gonna be a no win situation. and for someone to even try that makes me aware that that person is selfish and not thinking of the things that I'm currently look towards which would be me getting over certain things in life and making my self better.
I have also noticed that thru the traumatic relationships that i have been in I've noticed that i have been bitter, like the same females that get on for not getting over certain things in their lives. i don't think i am as bitter as i was but i was and can admit that, at least i can call it and identify with it and have corrected that non-sense.
I am a loner, b/c i feel NO ONE will ever understand me even if i try to explain. and am also a loner b/c friends have always seemed to be very disappointing. It also keeps me from following the crowd which at times can be very messy the crowd that is. being a loner also has helped me hone my skills as being very observant and intuitive of others
that is all for now, cant give away too much info, but at least I CAN do it. #imjustsaying
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